This time I’m not even going to pretend to think that he was just trying to be helpful and didn’t realize what he was saying. He realized it alright and if I don’t cool off before I see him again he’s gonna realize it in the intensive care ward for a couple of weeks.
Rewind to two days ago. Mr. Pushy stops by my office (uninvited as usual.) and starts working his way into his latest pitch. I was actually doing a fair job of ignoring him when I heard him say “pull up bar“. When I heard that I just had to stop and mentally rewind the last couple of minutes of his nonsense.
That’s when it hit me. He had actually suggested that I should install a pull up bar over my bed to make it easier to get out of bed in the morning because the excess weight I was carrying just “had” to make it extra difficult to get up.
I let him have it with both barrels. I let him know that not only had I *NEVER* reached a size where getting out of bed was so difficult that I would need something like that to help, I have in fact actually LOST a little over 25 pounds in the last couple of months.
I also told him that the very next time he entered my home OR my office uninvited that I would personally insert his head far enough for him to be able to see what he had eaten for breakfast that morning.
I then escorted him to the door, opened it and tried my very best to hit the passing mailman with him.
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