The Worst Movie Ever

January 2nd, 2011 | Posted in Reviews | Comments Off on The Worst Movie Ever

Have I ever mentioned what I think might well be THE worst movie ever created? This would be a colossal waste of production resources and time called “Machine Head”.

This “movie” (for lack of a more polite term for what it really is) is about a poorly written and worse acted misunderstood geek type who is a whiz with computers and internal combustion engines. He gets all kinds of crap from the jocks and cool kids and finally decides that he’ll show ’em all and get respect with his science project.

Thing is that science project is, as you might expect, just a little “off”. They didn’t say so but it appears that he goes online and raids Repair Clinic for a whole slew of briggs & stratton parts and takes the completed engine and straps it to the side of the head of a corpse.

He starts his program running and then starts the briggs & stratton lawnmower engine and then disconnects the computer from the corpse after it has become animated. Now as long as this lawnmower engine is running the corpse remains animated, moving in a slow lurching Frankenstein like manner. It’s also stronger than a normal human but if you take into account how slow moving it is the thing couldn’t possibly be a threat to anyone with a pulse.

Personally, I think this hour and a half movie was about 90 minutes too long and whoever authorized the money to make it probably lost their job. I sincerely believe that the best use for that briggs & stratton engine would be to mount it on a lawnmower deck, attach blades and use it to cut the grass. Though they ought to start out by using it to make mulch out of ever copy of the movie and it’s scripts simply as a public service.

Just for kicks, I’m also including my video review of that movie here:

[tags]worst movie ever, movie review, horror movie, machine head, bad acting, bad story, bad idea, waste of time[/tags]

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